Growing up in a church-going family was a wonderful childhood for me. I did not fully appreciate it at the time but looking back I have a better appreciation for the collection of kids that I called friends, the setting of culture that the congregation provided for us, and the teaching of morals that is the foundation of my personality.
Many of the teachings that I came away with were easy enough to accept but one teaching that I struggled with was to submit my will to the will of God. It sounded fine for those old folks that had already lived most of their life but I was young, just beginning that life journey. I wanted independence, mobility, a chance to explore the world and what it had to offer. In school we were being encouraged to “be all that we could be”. Our parents were teaching both approaches to life. Be successful in the world but also live the life that Yeshua taught and lived. The idea that I should give up, lay down, set aside my desires and my will at that point in my life was just unacceptable.
This conflict was reflected in my prayer life. I believed that prayer was a good thing and I was taught or, at least led to believe, that I should ask God to forgive my sins every time I prayed. Salvation for me was to not burn in hell so forgiveness was an important issue. Prayer was also a good thing if I needed something, wanted something or had a problem that needed a solution.
Prayer, however, had its place, at least for me. Prayer was to come to God for a purpose and then return to the activities of life. Prayer time was when I shared some of my thoughts with God but I kept most of my thoughts to myself. I did not want God to know most of my thoughts, desires, intentions – my will – lest he disapprove. Of course he knows all things but he seemed to respect my privacy along with my free will.
I knew and recited the Lord’s Prayer and paused at the line “thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” Should that read “thy will be done in my life as it is in heaven”? Paul said that he “prayed continuously”. How could anyone pray continuously and at the same time “be all you can be”? Would God go along for the ride? Would he not be a “kill-joy”? I developed a kind of “fire wall” between my church life and my life outside the church. Sad to say there were many examples of others that seemed to handle it that way. Sunday Christians, Monday business as usual.
Thankfully. God left me on this earth long enough to learn a few things. I now know that what defiles a man is not what the world throws at him but is what comes from inside, from the heart. Now I no longer want to keep God in his corner while preserving my options to exercise my free will choices. Now I want God to drive this train and I try to stay out of the way. I want my thoughts to be open to his inspection and correction. Where I formerly struggled to correct bad behavior, He identifies and corrects the cause of bad behavior.
And I have learned that God will work with people wherever they are along the path of life. That makes me less likely to be contemptuous of other people but also allows me to enjoy God’s constant presence even though I realize that I am not yet altogether what He wants me to be.
That is not to say that I get to just be lazy and enjoy the ride while God changes me for the better. There is much for me to do also. I am expected to be a disciple of Yeshua. That means I am to undertake the disciplines that lead to becoming like Yeshua. Things like prayer and study of the words of Yeshua, obedience to the words of Yeshua, solitude, service to others, worship and sharing of the Word – all of these and more are practices that lead me to be like Yeshua.
And I have learned that salvation is not just “to not burn in hell.” Salvation is the healing of the soul which leads to a right relationship with God. It is not something that I can do for myself but I have to want it, and that means I have to be willing to change. That takes time to be done right. It takes some effort.
The teachings of Dallas Willard have been a real blessing to me. I recommend his books and videos to anyone who wants to be a disciple of Yeshua. Unfortunately, the teaching of how to be a disciple of Yeshua is not a high priority in the modern church and has not been for a long time. To become a disciple of Christ is to live in the Kingdom of God. This is the greatest privilege known to man!
Listen to Yeshua,
DB
1-11-25
